We encourage all of our students to be kind to others. But other than saying “Please” and “Thank you,” what does that really mean? Kindness can be taught in a variety of ways, whether demonstrated, discussed or told through a story. Our teachers make it a point to be good role models for kindness by helping their co-teachers and by using kind words on a regular basis.

Kindness can also be taught in the classroom through books and stories. Here are a few examples of children’s books that demonstrate kindness in a fun way:
• The Kindness Quilt by Nancy Elizabeth Wallace;
• Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud, and;
• How Kind! by Mary Murphy.

During circle time, we frequently discuss different ways of being kind, such as sharing, complimenting, helping and listening. Depending on the age and maturity of the students, this might simply involve focusing on a specific action -- saying “Please,”“Thank you” or “Sorry,” for example -- in order to develop good habits.

We then turn the conversation to observation: “What was a kind action that you saw today?” As children develop more of an understanding of feelings and empathy, the conversations evolve: “How do you think that kind action made those people feel?”

Sometimes, teachers can even give kids a project to do at home, such as asking students to go home and do something kind for mom, dad, sister or brother, and sharing their story the next day. We also ask students to remember a time that someone was kind to them and think about how it made them feel.

A variation of this teaching method is to give this assignment at the beginning of the day and discuss it again before the children go home: “How was someone kind to you today? How were you kind to someone today? Did you see any of your classmates being kind to each other? Can you think of a time when you could have been more kind?”

Children enjoy recognition. While we do not want to motivate children to be kind purely for a positive reaction from an adult, targeted praise can help them to see the way that their kind actions affected others.

When Jerry tells the class during circle time that he felt really happy when Lucas helped him clean up the water that he spilled today, Lucas will realize that his actions had an effect. 

When students are on the receiving end of kindness, we encourage them to say thank you and to continue spreading the kindness. Children also learn that they can make a difference and that they can be kind to someone who is being bullied or excluded while staying respectful.

Of course, kindness should always be fair and voluntary. For example, if Tina wants to work on Sally’s puzzle with her, she must first ask Sally for permission to join.

Sally has the right to say yes or no and Tina must accept either answer. Kindness and respectful boundaries are both keys to healthy relationships.