If there’s one thing on which parents agree, it’s that parenting is hard! Providing for the family while keeping our kids safe and teaching them right from wrong are all full-time jobs.

Parenting with another person, whether it’s a spouse or family member, has its own advantages and challenges. You can share the workload, which is great, but co-parenting can become a battle if everyone is not working together in the same way.

Every family has had its share of arguments about how to discipline children and who should do which household chores, for example. To succeed, co-parenting families benefit greatly by consciously thinking through both their teamwork and parenting styles. Family psychologists sometimes refer to four parenting styles: authoritative, permissive, uninvolved and authoritarian.

• Authoritarian 
  Authoritarian parents tend to be strict, matching a strong sense of justice with a demand for obedience. These parents tend to be highly demanding but not responsive.

• Permissive
  Permissive parents are warm and accepting but make few demands. They’re lenient, avoid confrontation and allow considerable self-regulation. They’re much more responsive than they are demanding.

• Uninvolved
  The uninvolved parent demands almost nothing and gives almost nothing in return except near-absolute freedom. This style is low in both demandingness and responsiveness. At its worst, it can verge into neglect.

• Authoritative
  These parents are warmer and more communicative than authoritarian parents. They seek a balance between the desire for independence and the parents’ desire to be heard. These parents are both demanding and responsive.

Parents who think through these styles together often choose to be authoritative because this allows them to enforce a clear set of rules and behaviors while also responding fully and appropriately to their children’s needs.

Of course, it’s vital both that parents agree initially and that they follow through on their commitments. The way we interact with our partners profoundly influences our children. When children see their parents working as a team, they feel safe. They also learn respectful communication from our example.

The other major benefit of teamwork parenting is straightforward -- sharing the load eases the burden. Quality time with the family helps everyone stay healthy manage stress and get the most out of being a parent.

Like any skill, parenting teamwork gets easier with time but it requires practice. Life is a journey and effective co-parenting requires that everyone involved remains committed to finding new and creative solutions for issues that arise.

While conflict and disagreement are inevitable, partners can overcome these challenges by constantly renewing their commitments to collaborate in a positive way. One of the best ways to overcome challenges is through constant communication even when (especially when) it might feel easier just to let things slide.

In parenting as in everything else, great partners are the ones who support each other. This is especially true in parenting. Children will often test parents individually, hoping they will get their preferred answer if they keep asking different authority figures repeatedly and separately. 

Finally, it’s important to remember that each person is unique and that there are times when we can compromise even if we aren’t convinced. It’s important to be able to accept and value each other’s differences even if we aren’t perfectly aligned.

Once one partner makes a concession, it’s important that the other partner appreciate this act of love. Then, both parties have to stick to the agreement! All of this is easier said than done, but it really does get easier with practice.
 

1. Ruijing’s Open Day for Parents

2. Handprint Painting/Button Art/Volcanic Explosion Experiment

3. The Cash Register& The First Visit to the Library

4. Exploring Science at Home: Do plants need light to grow?

5. Phonics Explained: Phonological Awareness

6. Parenting Seminar & Arts and Sciences Workshops