Learn to Let Go – The Most Painful Decision
Once I read an article, saying that the process of growth from birth to adulthood, in fact, is a process of separation from our parents, and as parents, we can only watch as our children gradually go further away.
Though it is heartbreaking and sorrowful, there is no other way. This is a compulsory part of growth for our children and a hard journey for parents.
It is known by all that a parent can accompany their child on their first day of school at Sunshine Home. On my child’s first day, I stood inside the door during their outside time, trying to observe my baby’s performance.
I saw the teacher throw a ball to him. As he excitedly picked up the ball, wanting to throw it back to the teacher, a few children surrounded the teacher. He had no choice but to slowly put down his hand. He lowered his head and stood still, disappointed.
Seeing this, I felt so heartbroken. In order to not lose my composure, I did not rush out, but sat on the ground with tears in my eyes. I asked myself over and over again: Is this separation anxiety?
How can my child grow up if he can’t bear any grievance? I also told myself over and over again: it doesn’t matter, this is just the beginning and eventually he will adapt.
Finally, I swallowed all my tears. The day came to a close and I could still feel my inner struggles as my child said that he wanted to go home.
After that, for a period of time, the first thing my child said in the morning was: “I want to stay with mommy. I don’t want to go to school.” When I drove him off at school, he would hold my legs tightly and sometimes shed tears.
I have also wavered in my determination, thinking that it might be better to find another institution for early education where I could always accompany my child studying at school. Fortunately, that only happened once, and my mind told me not to give up. If we as parents are so easy to give up, how can we educate our children to keep going?
The school environment will help our children learn to take care of themselves, complete daily tasks independently and develop good living habits. They will also learn how to make new friends and deal with conflicts in a group, all of which are far more important and valuable than the knowledge in textbooks.
So I told myself to keep going, I will learn to let go and allow my child to face the difficulties on his own!
Time is really the best medicine. As a few months passed, many problems are inadvertently solved.
In the morning, he no longer asks me to drive him to school but instead asks if he can walk to school with other family members. He can finish many daily tasks independently, such as brushing his teeth, washing his face and eating meals. With so many changes happening, my child has really grown up!
The ancients said, “What’s learned from books is superficial after all. It’s crucial to have it personally tested somehow.” No practice and tribulations, no gains and growth. As a mother, the best gift I can give to my child is to learn to let go. Though it will be painful, this is a compulsory lesson for my child and myself. There is still a long way to go, so let’s keep on fighting!
International Sunshine Home Arts & Sciences