He has developed very good concentration. He loves to use his mind and think, with the willingness to try. When he would do something groundbreaking (such as opening the packaging of straws for the first time independently) he would happily come up to me and say, “Mommy, mommy, I can do it by using my head and thinking, right?” I would nod my head. If he dropped something under the table and couldn’t reach it with his hands, he would immediately run to the balcony and find the clothes pole.

He is also very patient and principled. For example, when he wants to buy something, he would ask me if he can buy it. I said, “No, you can’t buy it”. He would ask, “Is it because it’s expensive?” I answered, “No, it is not.” Then he went on, “So why can’t I buy it?” My answer would vary according to the specific situation, which may include: It was a waste of money; it was useless; we couldn’t buy it until Christmas; what you want to buy was not what we needed. Sometimes I would ask him why he wanted it so badly.

I think this is the advantage of teaching him to think independently. He won’t be upset when he meets any problem. He will use his mind and think about it before asking me for help. I used to feel like a servant to my child but now I feel like it’s getting easier and easier to raise him. I can communicate with Daniel, who is usually in a stable mood. He can understand my requirements and is willing to cooperate with me. He also knows that within certain limits he can feel free to have fun playing and “go crazy”.

Parenting is a topic that never ends. With the limited number of words, I’d like to share with you the most important point in my view: The core of establishing a healthy parent-child relationship is how you think about your child! Do you regard him as a treasure or the person who will bring you losses? Do you think he will provide you with motivation or drain your energy? Do you enjoy your relationship with your child or are you afraid to face the problems your child brings? Do you want to help him grow into a man of character, or do you want him to grow up quickly and set you free?

There is a saying in Moments that is very classic: “Don’t befriend your child at the right age for rules.” What bothers and confuses the children most, making them go crazy and become rebellious, is the inconsistent requirements from their parents. For example, what can be done today may not be allowed tomorrow; it is wrong for the children to do something but it is fine for parents to do the same thing...

In fact, we all have a set of values that we believe in, which determines how we think about our children and how we respond to them.

My husband and I have found our answer and direction in our belief. We all believe in the principles and teachings of the Bible, the world’s best-selling book of wisdom, so we have a consistent set of standards and guidelines for working with our child, in small matters as well as in large ones.

One of the most important things is that we should value our relationship with our spouse more than our children. As a popular saying goes, “The best education for children is that parents love each other.” Children will learn how to treat others through the interaction of their parents.

More importantly, the Bible says children are a heritage of the LORD and parents are just the caregivers and managers, not the owners. A child is a unique masterpiece created by God and has his or her own unique personality.

Because of this belief, we respect our child. We don’t yell at him or expect him to do everything we want him to. What we need to do is to discipline and guide him.

When he is absorbed in his study or observation, or immersed in his own thoughts, we don’t disturb him. Sometimes we resist the urge to hug him and give him the space to stay alone no matter how badly we want to.