Instead of punishment, think of discipline as a way to guide your child as she learns what kind of behavior is appropriate.

Through discipline, you are helping her learn how and how not to behave, how to manage her own feelings and behaviors and how to grow into a polite, well-adjusted adult.

The key to effective discipline is establishing your role as an authority figure and finding the right balance of firmness and fairness.

Too much harsh and negative discipline can lead to children behaving out of fear. It can also cause self-esteem and anxiety issues for your child as he grows older.

Not enough discipline can lead to insecure, attention-seeking children and parents who are not in control.

Set clear limits and expectations as early as you can. Through the age of two, keep temptations such as electronics, jewelry, cleaning supplies and medicine out of reach.

If your child begins moving toward or reaching for one of these items, calmly say “No” and move her to another area or distract her with another activity.

Negotiating with a young child should never be an option.  Between the ages of three and five, start communicating family rules and expectations and praising good behavior.

When setting clear expectations, use positive language as much as possible: “Walk carefully” instead of “No running.”

Instead of prohibiting an action, give directions for what to do instead. Save the word “no” for safety concerns: no running with scissors, no touching the hot stove.

Create family rules and lead by example: We are kind, we help others. If you scold your child for not picking up his toys while your things are scattered all over the house, he won’t see a good reason to follow your directions.

Praise good behavior: “Thank you for putting away your toys before I asked you to do so” or “Thank you for being so polite at the party today.” Set clear, consistent consequences for bad behavior.  

When timeouts are needed, they should last for about one minute per year of age. Longer timeouts can be counterproductive and lead to more behavioral problems as the child becomes bored or seeks attention.

After age three, let her lead when appropriate: “You can come back and play with your brother when you feel ready to behave.” This will help her to develop self-management skills and gain a better understanding of her own emotions.

Discipline strategies can vary from child to child depending on age and personality but harsh scolding and spanking (or other forms of physical punishment) should always be avoided.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, harsh verbal discipline can cause emotional pain and end up leading to more behavioral problems down the road.

Also, spanking often increases anger and aggression instead of the intended responsibility and self-control.

Additionally, keep in mind that expectations should always be clear before disciplinary action is taken -- it’s all a learning process!