We all know the stereotypes: Girls like pink and boys like blue; Girls like dolls and princesses while boys like trucks and planes; Girls love play kitchens while boys love building blocks. But how true is this, really? And should there be a difference between girl and boy toys?

 

 

Babies show no gender preference in toys, according to Christia Spears Brown, author of “Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue.” In fact, gender preferences only appear after children are taught their gender. In a social experiment, Professor Brown explains that children who observe a group of girls playing with a toy truck are more likely to see it as a girl’s toy.

 

Between the ages of three and five, children are actively learning about gender as part of their identity. They constantly take in social cues about what it means to be a boy and what it means to be a girl. Toy aisles divided by gender stereotypes certainly add to these cues.

 

At a very young age, children learn that girls are meant to act one way and boys are meant to act another way. Adults unintentionally model these stereotypes through their own actions and conversations. Consider the things you say around your children and remember that you are their biggest role model.

 

There is nothing wrong with girls gravitating toward pink toys and boys toward blue ones but it’s important to understand why. Does your daughter enjoy her play kitchen out of pure interest or because she sees mom spending more time in the kitchen than dad? Does your son avoid playing with dolls because he finds them boring or because he believes that boys are not supposed to be nurturing?

 

We do want our children to know that boy can be both masculine and nurturing while girls can be both feminine and powerful.

 

The toys we play with as children affect our development. Dolls and toy kitchens help to develop communication and social skills while building blocks and puzzles teach spatial skills. These skills are important for all children. “Both genders lose out if we put kids on one track and they can’t explore,” according to Lisa Dinella, associate professor at Monmouth University.

 

Laura Zimmerman, a developmental psychologist and professor of psychology at Shenandoah University, understands the importance of exposing children to a broad range of toys and play. “We know that these stereotypes that are being shaped and reinforced can be linked to a lot of different things from educational and occupational goals to academic ability to social development,” she explained.

 

According to Lauren Spinner, developmental psychologist at the University of Kent, mixed gender play is very important. “Children can overcome their anxieties about playing with other-gender children if you can get them to understand there are a lot of similarities in what they like to play with, rather than focusing on the gender of the child,” she said.