Introduction
Everyone wants to give their children the best possible start in life. Everyone hopes they will have a child who is independent, loving and kind rather than demanding, loud and disrespectful. But children need guidance, training and good examples. Delightful children don’t just happen. It takes loving, strong, consistent training. 

Part One: A Loving Environment
The home needs to be a loving, peaceful environment. Children need to know that mom and dad love each other as well as loving them. Seeing mom and dad nicely talking together, eating together, going out on a date (just the two of them) are signals to a child that this relationship is important, stable and reliable.

They want to know that mom and dad agree rather than argue on things, especially as it pertains to their life. They don’t need to be told. It needs to be in the environment of the home.

Of course mom and dad do not always agree, but the child does not need to be made constantly aware. Discuss disagreements privately and as quietly as possible. Children not only need to be taught how to have self-control and how to get along with others, they need to see it in action. 

There is a saying ‘more is caught than taught’. This means that children learn more from what they watch us do and how we interact with them and with others, than from our words of instruction.

If a mom tells her child to be nice to little sister, then yells at her spouse, she is giving conflicting information. The stronger lesson comes from mom’s actions than from her words.

This also applies to how to respond to a new event or stimulus. When a child falls down, if mom and dad are scared and upset, the child will learn that she needs to be scared and upset. If that same child falls down and mom and dad show loving concern, but also encouragement to keep on going, the child will feel the concern and realize the fall was not so bad. She can get up and keep on going.

Taking a child to a theme park such as Disney provides a lot of stimuli new to a child. The child will look to mom and dad to see how to react. My son took his son on a ride at Disney recently which proved to be a little scary for the three year old. He immediately looked to daddy. Daddy smiled and said ‘wheee’ as the ride moved toward the ground. Afterwards he asked his child if he liked the ride. My grandson told his daddy it was fun and just a little scary! Had he looked at his daddy and seen fear or terror on his face, the scary part would be all he could remember.

Children don’t come equipped with appropriate reactions and responses to life. They look to family members, friends and teachers to learn how to react and respond.

But often they choose unacceptable reactions to events and stimuli. What do we do then? Do we accept it? Do we hope they will outgrow it?Stay tuned for Part Two of Guidance for Parents.

1. Teaching a Gifted Child

2. Getting the Right Amount of Sleep

3. Gentle and Tough

4. Speak Wisely and Listen Well

5. The Music Recording Program

6. Tips to protect young children from the heat of summer