By chance, I read a phrase: Gentle insistence. This was actually a remark about gender relations, which has worked for me in that context. After having a child, I read a similar idea, but this time about parenting: Be gentle to individuals but be firm on certain matters. To be honest, I loved it and tried to put it into practice in daily life as I raised my child.

At that time, my confidence in my abilities and experience told me to refuse to make any compromises with my 1-year-old daughter, no matter how badly she cried. Looking back now, I see that I had no reason for why I decided to make no compromises. I only remember my daughter lying in my arms in the middle of the night with her little face washed with tears. Fortunately, daily study of parenting knowledge lead me to begin to realize that in the eyes of my daughter, husband and parents-in-law, my insistence to remain completely unmoved by my daughter’s tears was indifferent rather than gentle.

What does this sentence“Be gentle to individuals but be firm on certain matters” mean? I still don’t have a good grasp of the balance it calls for, and I still don’t want to make compromises too easily. But now I’m willing to try all kinds of roundabout tactics, coming up with various interesting topics to distract my daughter’s attention.

For example, I wanted her to stop playing with water. She had been allowed to play with water for more than ten minutes, her fingers started to wrinkle so it was time for her to stop. Before, maybe I would tell her gently first, “Time is up.” Then I would go directly to turn off the tap, and even start to count down. Apparently, she was reluctant to listen to me.

Now I will tell her exaggeratedly, “Oh, my god. The teddy bear has been waiting for you for a long time. He is still waiting for you to read books, swim and draw pictures.” (The more specific the better.) I knew what she was interested in recently, and the result was very satisfactory. After cleaning up the sink and turning off the tap, she ran towards the living room and cheered, “Little bear, I am coming!” I was being gentle to her and achieving my goal while she was also happy. Win-win!

As she is growing up day by day, I realize that there is still a long way to go.
 

1. Speak Wisely and Listen Well

2. The Music Recording Program

3. Tips to protect young children from the heat of summer

4. Pegged Puzzles& Three Cat Chefs

5. Little Doctor’s Set & The Child Who Flies a Kite

6. Parenting Article  | Parenting as a team